Monday, February 28, 2005

Goodnight Sweet Prince

My friends, I come to you this evening with some sad news. It is with great difficulty I write everyone today to inform you of the death of my good friend and companion of 10 years, Flaveous the Turtle.

For those of you who never were fortunate enough to meet Flave and experience the love possible between a man and his reptile, let me share a little about him with yall. Flave enjoyed sleeping, eating, and swimming. He also found much adventure and excitement in escaping from his tank and hiding all through out my apartment. There were countless times we'd find him behind the couch, under the toilet, or even wedged between the dresser his tank sat on and the wall - suspended in mid air because he took a dive out of his tank on the wrong side. There was even a time he made it out the door of my apartment and, feeling as fearless as ever, crawled off the walkway taking a 14 ft fall on to the concrete below. One of his proudest moments, I am sure we can all agree.

We found Flave at the bottom of his tank lying in peace and put him in a modest box along with one of his favorite toys. Accompanied by my friend Yitsi, we took his remains and buried him in the rocks overlooking the Hudson River as New Jersey glistened off in the distance.

Flave is succeeded by the 3 fish that I had put in his tank for him to eat while I was away in Texas and now find myself having to care and buy fish food for, Hersh, Nathan, and Tatonka.

Shiva will not be observed because Flave was a Buddhist, but donations can be made to the New York State Turtle Fund.

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