Tuesday, April 26, 2005

The Inevitable!


During this time of year there is something that always comes up. You hope it never arrives, yet comes quickly and wish it passed quickly, yet never seems to leave. Humanity has done so much during this time for so many, yet we have never bothered to put our minds on this. They have created gluten free, hand-made, and machine-made, they have even sold pre-broken and miniscule-pieces. With all the geniuses in this world they have never created non-constipating Matzo?!?!?!?!?!

Every year without a doubt that second day of Pessach I will be walking to shul wondering when it will all come out. I have at this point consumed enough food to feed the recently anointed fattest 1B of all-time Cecil Fielder (see Page 2 ESPN.com), but for some reason it just keeps building up. Well during this time of questions I ask WHY?

Why must we eat this food that stuffs us up for eight days?
Why can we not create a Matzo that lets us Poo when we want?
Why can my girlfriend get her stupid Spelt Matzo and we are stuck wondering when the next poo will be?

You see I give respect to our fellow Jews who wanted to make sure they did not waste time leaving slavery - therefore the bread did not rise and they kept themselves from craping themselves by making constipating Matzo. But what is our excuse now?

What is our excuse now?

Remember - when you feel alone and depressed think of Lenny and have a smile

The Hersh


Blogger Lenford said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

4:02 PM  
Blogger Lenford said...

i hope you are constipated for years to come especially while you are biking (more likely cabbing/dragging your sorry ass) across Ireland.
dont be such a pussy hersh,
just pull the trigger and get it over with. your colon will thank you.

bty, point number six is valid. ask bram. he was the one who posed the little bit of lenny question.

if you own a uoft med school t-shirt, does that mean you can tell people you are in med school?


4:04 PM  
Blogger Gatos Hombre said...

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12:11 AM  

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